I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
