How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
