Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
