I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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