Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
how drunk are you?
Several
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
