White coat. Heels.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
