Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I look better un-naked...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
