I feel like I'm in dance class right now
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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