I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
two words: eviction party
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
