This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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