Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
