This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize