And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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