having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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