i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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