i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Are we still banned from the library?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
