he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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