is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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