problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
