Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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