i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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