suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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