If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
