Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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