halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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