We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
