The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
