my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
