do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
