she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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