If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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