so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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