I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dick very happy bro
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
