imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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