i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
