Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
