You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
