I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
