whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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