You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
