guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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