it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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