You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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