Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize