New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
