Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
