drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Randomize
