Do vagina's smell?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
two words: eviction party
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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