So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
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