dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
