my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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