Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize