Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The Olympian is in my bed
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
