I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
