I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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