dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
