Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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