she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
