Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Come on in and take your pants off
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