I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
