Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
foreskin is a definite game changer
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
