My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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