Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
