It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
