Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
