Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
