Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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