I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
